She's been crying a lot. :/

She won't tell me what's going on exactly, but she won't let go of me, and she keeps playing shit at high volume again. I called Adam and he came over and we kept her busy enough to turn down the music without it bothering her and things were good for a bit. Adam's been staying with us. Even though Lisa is pregnant...I guess Lisa understands what's going on...? I don't know.

Yesterday, though, she had a fucking fit. She took out her kit, grabbed her syringes and just stared at them, dragging the needle up and down her arm. She was fucking pouring with sweat. I kept trying to take it away from her, she looked fucking psychotic. She didn't even respond. just kept doing it...I lost my temper and said something I've regretted saying since. "Stop this bullshit, or I'm leaving you Veronica. I'm sick of it." As soon as those words left me, I tried to apologize, but she fucking lost it, she started saying sorry over and over and over and threw her syringes at the wall and started slapping her head repeatedly. It was such a surreal scene...was this really the girl I've known my whole life? I tried to restrain her, and that's when Adam burst in. He grabbed one of the needles and methodically injected her with it. Like it was something he has always done.

Today she's fine. she fucked me this morning. something was off about it though, I can't explain it.
And then now she has locked herself up in our room. popping out only sometimes to give me a kiss.
She said something though, not but an hour ago that has been bothering me. "You nourish me. You fill a void that has been empty too long...I'm so glad you can read my messages...even though you don't know you can..."

Like what the fuck does that mean?