What a fucked dream.

I took what few comments I had yesterday and went through her phone.
Veronica is smart. She had no text messages, no emails, no nothing. That was uneventful.

I still think she is seeing other men or fucking her dealer. I don't know, first girlfriend I've ever had that shot up. She keeps telling me she loves me and that she'd never betray me, I just have this horrible image in my mind of her riding some junkie looking fucker in a hot tub of black sludge.
I know I'm probably just over reacting but what else am I supposed to think or do?

Veronica was on the computer pretty much all night. Granted she kept getting up kissing me and getting food or something, all while blasting music through her headphones, but she kept shutting our bedroom door, which is weird but maybe she just liked having the door shut? Odd thing is that whenever she was in the kitchen she would be looking out the window or peaking out of the blinds, she seemed really paranoid.

About 11 we curled up and watched "Stage Fright" It's a horror musical, and really shit. I asked her, playfully, what she was doing on the computer all night her response to my prodding was simply. "renewing my love for those puzzles we played." She smiled really...warmly to herself and then just cuddled up to my chest, and it was really nice. If the world had stopped in that moment, I would have been okay with that. However, life has a funny way of fucking up your mood, not but 30 minutes after we the movie ended she started shooting up. She actually made me draw the liquid for her. It was fucking gross. It had this awful..coagulated feeling that made me want to puke, and the SMELL it smelled like  a dead animal, it was disgusting. She then injected and then we went to bed.

That night I had a dream: I was in a factory on a catwalk, on an opposite end of this fat walrus in a suit who stood  on his tail fins and screamed down at the workers. He would demand things like "Jump" and they would jump. "Work faster!" Work Slower! Stop! Go!" shouting out hundreds of commands and the workers would just obey him. As the dream went on the commands started getting weirder "Get naked! chop of your finger! kill him! fuck her!" And the workers would just do exactly what this walrus would say. After a while of watching this fat fuck barking orders I noticed the Gangly man was standing behind the walrus, but still in the shadows. He held up a key and nodded his long head once before fading away. This next part is the part that horrified me, I can still feel my chest seizing up, even though I KNEW it was a dream... After Gangly Man faded the Walrus turned to me, his face suddenly getting MUCH closer to mine and he locked eyes with me. I couldn't turn away, I couldn't move I was completely stuck, The Walrus slowly smiled a very sinister...very horrifying grin and said "Hello" before I was shook awake by Veronica.

She asked if I was okay and if I had any dreams, I told her I was fine and that I have nightmares all the time. She didn't seem happy. She shot up again and then went in the computer room. She came back about 30 minutes later, curled up close and said something...I couldn't quite make it out. She was asleep before I could ask, but she didn't let go of my hand all night.

Oh and good news. my headaches are back, and they hurt like a fucking bitch.
One good day after another with me isn't it.